TOXIC...TOXIC...TOXIC.... You don't have to take it.
Do you have those people in your life that are so draining to your soul that you don't even know which way to turn?
What about that one person that is ALWAYS complaining? Literally about EVERYTHING.
Let's not forget about the one person that questions all things in life to include work and work policies.
And the manipulator? Oh boy. This is a good one and they are EVERYWHERE. They fool everyone and sometimes that includes you.
And the family that sees your success as theirs? BRUH!! I can't even.
When do you say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? Sooner than later, that is a fact.
I said goodbye and good riddance to my mother a LONG time ago and I am not sorry for it. When the person who birthed you tells you that you love one of your children more than another, and this was the absolute last straw, enough is enough. I wasn't perfect and still am not but Jesus what gives? It had gotten where every time I saw her number I became anxious and that my friend should NOT happen to anyone. Anxiety is not something anyone should experience just by seeing a phone number or name pop up on their phone. #BYE
When people begin to guilt you into going places or doing things because "other people are okay with it" it is time to let them go. You are not obligated to attend ANY event that you don't want to. Man, my half sister's wedding. HELL, no I didn't go. You couldn't have paid me enough to go be around her sperm donor who was nothing short of a D#$% to me growing up. But the comments were "but mom is okay being around him, why can't you be okay with it". Now explain to me why the F#$% I should water down my standards and be around someone who was verbally abusive to me? NO. NO. F@#$ NO!
Oh and the dreaded in-laws. My father-in-law was amazing. May he rest in peace. However, my husband and I mutually cut my mother-in-law off. Don't come at me on social media saying I keep my daughter from you when you clearly don't want to have anything to do with her. Because NOW I will NOT have my daughter associating with the likes of you. Careful what you accuse prematurely because I don't play. PEACE. DEUCES. UNBOTHERED. You shouldn't tolerate this type of thing in your life either. It is too dang much to deal with and these are grown folks we are talking about.
And don't come to me complaining about everything in life and attempting to make your problems my problems. I get it. We all need to vent. And hey I am DOWN FOR THAT! I can give advice (man that is scary...LOL) or I can take advice. But for the love of all dogs in HEAVEN....please don't go around complaining about EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF LIFE. Come on guys. Let's support each other and get it together. Complaining does absolutely nothing but create a negative environment for those around you. Now, we should all understand that sometimes the negative is temporary and we have to give grace. For example, I had two previous jobs that sucked the LIFE out of me and my hubby was ready to knock me over the head with a hammer for the complaining...LOL. Now that I found a job that I can go to daily without dread, I am a much more positive person. SOOOOO a big thank you to those who listened while I went thru that phase of my life. But at this point, just punch me if I get that way again. Cause baby I ain't worth all that again...LOL
WHY DO WE CUT THEM OFF???
Staying in toxic relationships can have significant consequences for your mental health. Research indicates that prolonged exposure to toxic individuals can lead to conditions such as anxiety or depression, impacting your daily life.
Toxic relationships can also hinder personal development. Feeling surrounded by negativity makes it challenging to pursue your goals. For instance, a survey found that 60% of people reported that toxic relationships hindered their career progress. By cutting off these negative connections, you can redirect your energy toward healthier relationships that uplift and empower you.
CUT OFF STRATEGIES???
I am a master at this. Delete. Block. Don't respond. Now let me be very clear about the block and delete. Just because I block, delete, or cut you off doesn't mean I don't like you or even love you. If I block, delete, or cut you off it is because you disturb my peace or my immediate family's peace. If I truly do not like you, you are definitely gonna know it. If you don't contribute to my growth...YOU ARE GONE! That is me looking out for me just like you should look out for you.
The cut off doesn't have to be ugly. You can be civil. People grow. People change. And sometimes you are the one that changed not the person that you are "cutting off". I am not for everyone. I am not the coach for everyone. I am not the friend for everyone. And ya know what? That is OK! As Mel Robbins says.... LET THEM....LET ME.
You also don't have to completely cut someone off. It is okay to distance yourself. Take a step back. Especially if it is a form of self-care for you. You can decline a few invites out. You are entitled to stay home. You are worthy of being with just your spouse if that is what you choose. You can still occasionally attend events of your choosing but you are NEVER OBLIGATED to do so. People get so wrapped up in being offended by the fact that 1. they didn't get an invite or 2. they didn't come to my cookout, that it is hard to be accepting of other's decisions to STAY HOME SOMETIMES.
In conclusion, always do what is best for you even if it means that you don't please everyone. Look out for you and protect your peace like your life depends on it...BECAUSE IT DOES!
DEUCES. PEACE.
LOVE,
COACH
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