Unpacking Your Identity
In a world that constantly changes, understanding who you really are is more important than ever. Everyone carries a unique set of experiences, beliefs, and identities that play a vital role in answering the question, “Who the F#$% are you?” The answer to this question lies right in front of you, but at times it is so difficult to see.
And don't tell me "I'm a mom" or "I'm a wife" or "I'm a nurse" when I ask "Who the F#$% are you?". These are just things. I want you to peel back the onion layers and really GET DOWN WITH IT! TELL ME WHO THE F#$% YOU ARE!!!!
The Quest for Identity
Identity is not one-dimensional; it’s made up of various components. It includes our personal traits, our preferences, and the influences of culture, upbringing, and experiences. I am for one not the person I was 10 years ago nor the same person I was 10 months ago. While I don't really know who I strive to be, I do know the characteristics that I strive toward. Honesty, consistency, and loyal to myself are the characteristics that I want to live by. Notice this has nothing to do with my husband or my kids. THIS IS ABOUT ME! My identity quest starts below.
Many people reflect on their identities at different points in life. For example, about 6-8 months ago I felt so disconnected from myself. I have no idea why. Nothing had happened. Nobody had done anything. But at some point I lost myself and even to this day I have no idea who I was before that point. I couldn't tell you.
My quest began with taking a HUGE step back and just observing my surroundings and then trying to understand how I felt. In doing this task, I realized that simple is best. I didn't want chaos or drama; never have but sometimes you fall into it by accident. Then there was the whole task about how to change myself into who the F#$% I wanted to really be and understanding why.

Understanding Values
Values serve as the foundation of who we are. They shape our decisions, influence our interactions with others, and dictate our worldviews. Identifying your values often involves asking yourself important questions like:
What matters most to me? Being loyal to myself
How do I wish to be remembered by others? Honest
What keeps me balanced? Consistency
What matters most is being loyal (and truthful) to myself. THIS IS NUMBER ONE! It doesn't do me any good to look in the mirror and lie to myself or do things with others knowing that I won't be happy in the end. Yes this sounds so damn selfish but who is gonna look out for me? You give an inch and most take 3 miles. Nope. Ain't happening!
Honesty. WHEW! Most of you can't even stomach this word much less listen to it. Yet here we are with a soft ass society that you can't even talk open and honest with. Oh damn well! If you don't want to hear the truth. Don't ask me. I pride myself on being honest and nobody wants a dishonest coach if they are truly interested in making progress.
Consistent. Oh boy. In the gym. At work. Consistency matters. I help everyone. I am honest to EVERYONE and some don't like it but oh well. I want to be the constant that some of you have in your lives. Even if the constant kills you at 5am. LOL. And then consistent with myself and not just others. I want to be consistent with my food, workouts, and more.
Personal Experiences
"Experience is the best teacher," and this adage rings true when it comes to understanding your identity. Every experience—big or small—adds to the answer to the question "who the F#$% are you?". Reflecting on significant moments, like overcoming challenges at work or celebrating personal achievements, can provide insights into your beliefs and behavior.
Embracing Authenticity
In a society that often values conformity, being authentic can feel challenging. Being true to yourself—including your strengths and weaknesses—empowers you to be genuine in all aspects of your life.
Authenticity means recognizing and embracing your unique characteristics and life experiences. It takes courage to step outside societal expectations. For example, accepting your quirks can attract friendships that celebrate you for who you are rather than who society expects you to be. BE THE ONE PERCENT OF THE POPULATION THAT ISN'T POPULAR. YOU WON'T REGRET IT. And the ones that "mind don't matter, and the ones that matter don't mind" (Thanks Cass for bringing this one up the other day). You will find your people. Don't blend in. STAND OUT! AND STAND UP!
Finding Your Passion
Discovering who you are is intertwined with identifying your passions. Passion acts as a powerful motivator and provides direction. Whether it’s painting, running, working out, reading, whatever you want to do- just find your passion. Research shows that people who engage in passion-driven activities report higher levels of happiness, with a 27% increase in life satisfaction according to a recent study.
Influences and Surroundings
Your identity is also shaped by your environment and the people around you. Friends, family, and mentors influence your thoughts and behaviors.
Evaluate the people you spend the most time with. Surrounding yourself with positive, uplifting individuals can promote personal growth and enhance your self-understanding. For example, friends who inspire you to pursue your goals can cultivate a more profound sense of identity. This is proven in my gym for sure. We all uplift each other, we are a shoulder to lean on or cry on, we are supportive and that is so damn important. No competition! NO COMPETITION! I SAY THERE IS ROOM FOR EVERYONE!! AND I MEAN IT.
The Role of Reflection
Regular reflection is essential for grasping your identity. This process involves taking time to consider your thoughts, actions, and motivations. Setting aside moments for introspection allows you to assess your journey, celebrate achievements, and learn from challenges.
Practices such as mindfulness or meditation can improve your reflection skills and deepen your connection with your authentic self. Engaging in these practices can transform your perspective and lead to greater self-awareness.
Lifelong Journey of Self-Discovery
The question "Who the F#$% are you?" is a continuous journey rather than a one-time inquiry. As you navigate life, your identity will likely evolve based on new experiences and lessons learned. You will change and your values will change as you go along and that is okay. It is almost like changing your goals as you go thru life. One week I want abs and the next I just want to get to Friday at 5pm...LOL. Ever changing.

Your Unique Journey
"So, who the F#$% are you?" is more than a provocative question; it’s a prompt for discovery and understanding. The journey to self-awareness can feel overwhelming at times, but remember that each step you take brings you closer to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
As you embark on this adventure, embrace the uncertainties and fluctuations that arise. Dive into your experiences, reflect on your values, pursue your passions, and nurture healthy connections. The insights you gain will enrich your life and empower you to connect more deeply with others.
Ultimately, understanding your identity is not just about who you are; it encompasses the journey of becoming—an ongoing dance among the person you were, who you are, and who you aspire to be. Embrace this quest, knowing that you are a complex, ever-evolving individual with a story that is uniquely yours.
LOVE,
COACH
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